Wednesday, November 21, 2012

91 unimportant things you don't need to know about Los Angeles

91 pieces of information no one needs to know. Yet, Angelenos know.

  1. Here's the most eye-catching church in LA:

  2. There's a grocery chain called Vons, and another called Jons.

  3. Laundry is outside.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Jobs. Lots of them.

“Would you please list every job you can remember having?” I asked. Here’s what I found out.

Age: 65. Current Occupation: “Re-tired person!”

Would you please list every job you can remember having?
“I was a paper boy. Then I worked in a sandwich shop. Then I worked off and on in a lot of weird jobs.

Then I was in banking. I made a weird investment into a company that was searching for a sunken ship that sank in 1622, a Spanish galleon. So I became partners in that.

And we found the treasure. The treasure was 400 million bucks. So I am a retired person.”

Age: 31. Current Occupation: “I work with kids with autism.”

Would you please list every job you can remember having?
“Data entry person.

Salesperson at Baby Gap.

Santa’s Helper - I worked the carousel.

Barista at Coffee Bean.


One-on-one therapist.

Wrapped gifts at Nordstrom.

I made cream puffs for a little while, too.”

Age: 31. Current Occupation: Manager for Starbucks Coffee Company.

Would you please list every job you can remember having?
“My first job was landscaping. I worked at a nursery with baby plants and I did landscaping.

Administrative assistant. Filed, answered phones.

Then I moved to LA. I was a temporary administrative assistant, so I worked in a lot of different places.

Then I got a job at Gap.

Then I became a professional assistant for someone. I made cold calls for him. He was a salesman.

Then I got a job at Starbucks, and I’ve been there ever since.

I also took a part-time job doing valet parking.

And now I’m building my own business teaching cooking lessons.”

Age: 28. Current Occupation: Business owner.

Would you please list every job you can remember having?
“What have I worked? Not very much. But it’s fun.

I think my first job was I started hanging out with this baker, and I started baking with him. It was this Israeli Jewish baker named Uzi Cornhauser. He only talked about women and we only listened to ‘70s Greatest Disco Hits’.

At the same time, I was working at this river getaway lodge thing. I was a bartender in this little Irish pub part of this nice restaurant thing.

After that, I gambled. I gambled online. I was gambling when I was traveling, to support me with money-wise.

One time, I... I’ve never sold my body sexually for money, but that woulda been a good time for that to happen, if that had happened.

Coffee shops... for maybe only like a couple months at a time.

I don’t think I’ve ever worked more than 25 hours a week, and then somehow got my own business. And now I work more than 25 hours, and it’s kinda weird and kinda fun.”

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

40 things you should know about vegetable oil cars

Curious about a true alternative to gasoline? HRGBRG and the D9 Art Collective's Mario Aguirre is here to show you how a straight vegetable oil powered car works. Here are 40 things to know about his converted diesel Volkswagen Jetta, which runs on used vegetable oil that he collects daily from local restaurants. Unlike our previous BS about our office, the following IS actually, absolutely, positively true. We swear.

  1. The vegetable oil tank is located in the trunk of the car.

  2. This unit in the trunk contains a 25-gallon vegetable oil tank, and it's also a heat exchange system.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Life without Obama

What if Obama hadn’t been President for the last four years? What if McCain-Palin had been in charge instead? What would be different (or the same) about your life? I asked.

Age 38. Occupation: Undisclosed.

What would be different about your life if Obama hadn’t been president?

Marcel: “It'd be pretty much the same, 'cause it'd be the same game, with different players.”

Age 63. Occupation: Writer-director.

What would be different about your life if Obama hadn’t been president?

Roy: “I'd be miserable. I'd probably be living somewhere in Asia right now. Or Italy. I don't believe the Republicans even care about America. They just care about their party. And Palin was an idiot. And McCain disappointed me. I used to respect him, because I'm an army veteran. During the Bush administration, he and Bush were against a GI benefits increase. Personally, i just think the Republicans don't give a damn about the working man. It's all about the rich and the rich and the rich,, and that's what i don't like. The only difference I can see is that when Obama got into office, the Republicans in the Congress tried to block everything he tried to do.”

Age 33. Occupation: Lawyer.

What would be different about your life if Obama hadn’t been president?

Daniela: “Different? I'd probably know a lot more kids that died in the war.

"Same: It's all kinds of the same political bullshit that goes on, no matter what the candidate is. But I guess I still eat into the whole thing that maybe there is hope. Cliché with this campaign, I know...”

Monday, August 6, 2012

Election 2012, according to a fortune teller

I asked a tarot reader: How's the rest of the presidential election going to go? Who will be President for the next four years: Barack Obama or Mitt Romney? Yes, she had an answer.


Monday, July 16, 2012

What's the closest you've ever come to dying?

I asked folks, “What’s the closest brush with death you’ve ever had?” Here are 21 death-defying stories.

Age: 28. Occupation: Bartender.

What’s the closest brush with death you’ve ever had?
Steve: "Nine years ago, August 3rd, 2003, I had brain surgery. My skull collapsed, I had three plates put in my head, fell into a coma, damn near pronounced dead at the scene. That’s what happened. While serving with the US Marines.

“Yeah, they told my parents I wasn’t going to make it, and I survived anyway. ‘Cause I’m very stubborn. I was in great shape. Either way, whatever the reason was, I’m still here. But, I got discharged from the Marine Core ‘cause of it, after four years, and I’ve been bartending ever since.”

Age: 30. Occupation: Team leader for School on Wheels.

What’s the closest brush with death you’ve ever had?
Charles: "When I was 22, I was shot at, and I got shot in the foot.”

Age: 33. Occupation: Stylist.

What’s the closest brush with death you’ve ever had?
Christina: "There’s actually been quite a few. Huh. Well, I did tell you how I had spinal meningitis - I actually did die. So, I crossed over, and I saw my grandmother. I was happy to see her. She literally told me, ‘It’s not your time. You have to go back.’ And I was like, ‘No. Why? I want to stay here with you!’ And she said, ‘No. It’s just not your time. You have a lot to do. You have to go back.’ And I said, ‘I don’t want to go back.’ And she said, ‘You have to go back.’ And then she and the light went away, and I woke up, in tears.

“How I died: I ‘bradied’ down. Basically what that means is that my heart rate dropped so low that I was technically still alive, but at the point where I wasn’t getting enough oxygen, so that I actually did cross over. But since I still had some sort of a heart rate kind of going, they put a cold press on me, and that’s what jump-kicked me back into... that brought me back. I totally had - I raised up out of my body, looked down, I could see myself laying there, and went up, saw the light, saw my grandmother, and she said ‘Absolutely not. It’s not your time to go. You have to go back. You have too much to do.’”

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Shitty relationship advice

I asked the Shitty Advice Guy on the Venice boardwalk for some shitty relationship advice, and he delivered.

HRGBRG: "Can I get some shitty relationship advice?"

"Ya got a boyfriend?"


"Next time you’re looking for a guy, don’t shower for 2 or 3 days... y'know, act like a real bitch. Ask for shit you don’t even want. Never, y'know, be satisfied with McDonald’s or Burger King or Taco Bell, never, never. If it ain’t 25 to 50 dollars a plate to eat, nah, ain’t gonna happen. Check out all the guys around you, even the ugly ones. Make sure he’s payin’ attention. And just, every time he goes to kiss you, turn your head... ya know, he goes to grab your hand, pull it away. Then try to keep that guy. It’s not gonna happen.

“Again - That's Real. Shitty Advice.

Thank you!

Watch the video of this interview:

Monday, July 9, 2012

The World's Greatest Wine-O on Obama's proposal to extend middle-class tax cuts

I asked the World's Greatest Wine-O, who has been sharing songs and jokes on the Venice Beach boardwalk for 18 years and knows more about current events than I do, to comment on today's proposal by President Obama for a 1-year extension of Bush-era tax cuts for the middle-class.

HRGBRG: "Can I ask you what you think of Obama's plan to extend Bush's tax cuts on people who make $250,000 or less?"

"That's where the money should go. Shouldn't send- give the money to people done send the jobs overseas like Mitt Romney did. Alright? Get 'em middle class people a break. I ain't middle class yet, but I'm workin' on it." (Laughs)

Thank you!

A photo of the World's Greatest Wine-O:

Sunday, July 1, 2012

What did you look like when you were a kid?

I asked folks: "What did you look like when you were a kid?"

Age: 22. Occupation: Model.

What did you look like when you were a kid?
Anna: "I was probably one of the ugliest babies alive. My eyes were crossed. I was humongous. I think I was 23 inches long and almost 10 pounds when I was born. My head was shaped like an eggplant and I was kind of purplish colored too. My lips- it looked like I got stung by a bee because they were the same size they are now, but on a smaller head, so they filled up my whole face. I had probably 6 rolls in each of my legs.

"It was really bad.

"People used to come up to my parents and be like 'Oh, can I see your baby?' and then they'd be like 'Woooowww... you have a really... interesting looking baby.'

"Yeah. I don't think my parents ever heard I was cute or anything like that."

Age: 33. Occupation: Marketing manager.

What did you look like when you were a kid?
Greg: "Don't know what happened... I used to be a little white boy. Then I turned Mexican."

Monday, June 18, 2012

Pirate's Booty Dance

This is a pirate, dancing. Music: Beastie Boys, Rhymin' and Stealin'. Dancer: Dancing Pirate Stina.

Press Play, turn the volume loud, and enjoy.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Why do we yawn?

Why does the human body yawn? The answer isn't quite clear, so I asked around. In response, I got a lot of interesting answers, a few helpful tips, and - of course - yawns.

Age: 26. Occupation: Production assistant.

Can you tell me everything you know about how and why people yawn?
Ben: "You just go like-" (yawns) "-and I don't know why you do it. But I know that yawns are contagious, and sometimes you'll yawn when you see somebody else yawn.

"That's everything I know about yawning."

Age: 29. Occupation: Architectural historian.

Can you tell me everything you know about how and why people yawn?
Beibei: "It think it's contagious.

"I know there's a method: If you put your finger in the middle of your mouth, you can stop it. Or, if someone else is trying to yawn, you can put your finger in their mouth, and they can't fully yawn. I think when people realize something's in their mouth, they can't yawn."

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Photo: Filtering peanut oil for our peanut-powered car

Mario pours used oil collected from a donut shop through the filter into a storage container. Indeed, it smells like donuts.

More on the peanut-powered vehicle of HRGBRG and the D9 Art Collective coming soon. [UPDATE 6/19/2012: Published! Click here to go to 40 things to know about the straight vegetable oil powered, converted diesel car of and the D9 Art Collective]
Bookmark us, get us delivered by email (look towards the right to submit your email address), and keep up with us on Facebook and Twitter to stay updated.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Laughlin, Nevada: The uninteresting small casino town that's actually pretty interesting

Curious about checking out an alternative to Vegas? Laughlin, Nevada is only two hours south. Here are 84 of those little things that guidebooks don't often mention. But those who have been there know: It's the little things that just might be the most worthwhile of all.

  1. Mobile signals aren't very strong. Public telephones are easy to find.

Monday, June 4, 2012

26 unimportant things you don't need to know about Bilderberg 2012

Here are 26 of those little things you don't need to know at all, but just naturally pick up by being there. This time I took in Bilderberg 2012, the protest of the conspiracy-theory-laden Bilderberg Conference, held in Chantilly, Virginia from May 31st through June 3rd.

  1. The Bilderberg Group chose a pedestrian-friendly suburb for their conference location this year.

  2. "District Governmental Center" means "Police Station".

  3. If you happened to get pulled over within a half-mile of a the Bilderberg protest, you got more moral support from passers by than usual.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Travel tips from Bilderberg 2012

I dropped by the Occupy Bilderberg / Bilderberg 2012 protests in front of the Westfields Marriott in Chantilly, Virginia this week, and asked folks, "What travel planning did you put into attending this protest?" Also: Of course I had to ask, "What brought you to the protest?"

Age: 33. Occupation: Security. Traveled from: Manhattan, New York City, NY.

What travel planning did you put into attending this protest?
Eli: "Basically: Punched in everything on my GPS. Got in the car. Got down here."

What brought you to the protest?
Eli: "You have the global elite meeting here in secret, deciding our future, our fate, taking away our constitutional rights. It's very important that more and more people get together and expose these evil scumbags."

Age: 41. Occupation: Women's lifestyle journalist. Traveled from: London, England.

What travel planning did you put into attending this protest?
Hannah: "We actually did book in-" (Points to Westfields Marriott) "- this hotel for a couple of days, but they didn't honor our reservation. As we had done this before, they knew our names, so they cancelled our reservation. They didn't let us stay. They said it was overbooked, but it wasn't.

"So we wanted to stay nearby the protest...

"Logistically, you just need to get lots of things for the weather, really. Just loads of sun cream, umbrellas, and water. Just know you're going to be outside for a long time. It's like going hiking or something.

"We were a bit worried coming into the country, because we were going to a protest, but it was fine.

"We've been really lucky in terms of transport. Our hotel, the Hyatt, is giving us shuttles to and from the protest site. This actual site is quite inconvenient. We've got no facilities nearby. We've got no bathroom facilities. There's no kind of... shops or anything,. People have to walk quite a long way get to the location. We're not being allowed to park in nearby car parks- peoples' cars are being towed. So actually, that is a bit of a problem. But luckily, the Hyatt has been great and has been shuttling people backwards and forwards. For the bathroom, and things like that."

What brought you to the protest?
Hannah: "I'm protesting because I believe that this conference is profoundly undemocratic. And non-transparent. And I'm protesting because my elected Minister of Justice, Kenneth Clark, is attending, and he's actually on the Steering Committee of the Bilderberg Group, and I do not agree with this. It's undemocratic."

Thursday, May 31, 2012

What do you regret?

I asked folks: "What do you regret?"

Age: (Not given). Occupation: Engineer.

What do you regret?

Gerald: "Number one: When my wife took off with this rich doctor. I had all the time in the world to go to live with some of my friends in Thailand. That was my regret- I never did it. Looking back at it, I kick myself in the rear because I never did it. I hear the life is pretty good over there."

Age: 52. Occupation: "I’m an IT geek."

What do you regret?

Sara: "Not staying in the military a little bit longer."

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Buttsniffer Fish of the Colorado River

I caught a fish (being a creep).


Friday, May 25, 2012

In the office: A short tour of HRGBRG.COM's energy source

The HRGBRG office is powered by a peanut tree that grows peanuts from its branches and runs 115-230 volts through an electrical outlet built into the trunk. The following is absolutely true.

This is a typical day at the HRGBRG office.

An Alternative Diodic Electricity Peanut Tree (A.D.E.P.T.) produces ripe peanuts all year round.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Every Venice Boardwalk storefront that faces the ocean

In order from south to north, here's every Venice Boardwalk storefront that faces the Pacific Ocean. Photographs taken on May 17, 2012. With soundtrack.

Begin by pressing play. Then, enjoy the photos below.

Venice Whaler Bar & Grill.

Washington Boulevard beach access, parking lot pay booth.

The Wings.