Wednesday, November 21, 2012

91 unimportant things you don't need to know about Los Angeles

91 pieces of information no one needs to know. Yet, Angelenos know.

  1. Here's the most eye-catching church in LA:

  2. There's a grocery chain called Vons, and another called Jons.

  3. Laundry is outside.

  4. This city has a thing for camouflaging transformers.

  5. Here's probably the least eye-catching church in LA:

  6. If you pick the state flower, someone will suggest that you stop.

  7. Restaurants turn on heat lamps almost every night of the year.

  8. Interesting vehicles abound.

  9. There's always a black and yellow Bugatti parked in front of House of Bijan on Rodeo Drive.

  10. The weather is scooter friendly.

  11. Street parking rules are different for each block. They may also be different for each day. They may also even be different according to the time of day, on different days, depending on if it's a weekday, unless it's a holiday. Anyway, good luck.

  12. Valet is a practical option for both special and mundane occasions.

  13. Many parking garages display live updates on the number of spaces available.

  14. At the DMV, you can find Comic Sans in two languages.

  15. Some freeway entrances have traffic lights.

  16. It is very difficult to speed on the freeway and most roads in general.

  17. For many years, LA's most popular road map was The Thomas Guide, which is hundreds of pages thick.

  18. These days, LA's most popular road map is not The Thomas Guide, which is a backup to Internet directions.

  19. As much as LA is known for its car culture, it's also a pedestrian city.

  20. The Pacific Coast Highway has a sidewalk.

  21. Sometimes you'll encounter diagonal crosswalks.

  22. Bikes, skateboards, and buses all use bike lane.

  23. Activism is alive and well.

  24. If someone you know has a yard, they probably have a fruit tree, too.

  25. If you see flowers in the ocean, it means a surfer passed away.

  26. The beach is pretty empty most of the year...

  27. ...exception: July and August.

  28. SURF

  29. Throughout June or so, the marine layer moves inland from the ocean at night and lingers in the coastal sky all morning before the daytime heat evaporates it. It's June Gloom.

  30. It's possible to live well on a houseboat.

  31. ICANN is headquartered in Marina del Rey.

  32. There should be planes in the distance, taking off from and landing at LAX in this view, but in this moment there happened to be none.

  33. The Venice boardwalk is a neverending carnival.

  34. You can hike from the Pacific Ocean to a mountaintop and dodge cacti along the way.

  35. Some nature hikes are interrupted by radio towers.

  36. Downtown LA is unusual in that it actually feels like a city.

  37. The Fashion District feels like New York's Garment District.

  38. Here's a Main Street. (There are several.)

  39. Here's a Wall Street. (It's not New York's.)

  40. In Skid Row, each night, entire blocks of sidewalks are filled with camping tents.

  41. While LA's weather makes it possible to live in your car, LA's law does not.

  42. Many residents depend on EBT cards.

  43. LA's weather makes it an ideal place to make movies.

  44. And to show off an enormous outdoor Emmy statue.

  45. When movies are shown at the Hollywood Cemetery, the people who made them might show up, in spirit...

  46. Street legal golf carts can be a good way to get around within neighborhoods. Film lots know this.

  47. Only tourists ride Segways.

  48. Where there are tourists, there's an Iron Man and a Darth Vader.

  49. Marilyn Monroe is remembered at the Hollywood and Highland bus stop in front of the McDonald's.

  50. Some buses offer math exercises.

  51. Taco trucks are popular.

  52. Food trucks with puns in their names are popular.

  53. Carts that sell fresh, chopped fruit seem to be found in front of banks.

  54. LA is known for its obsession with health foods.

  55. Simultaneously, it's also known for its obsession with burgers.

  56. There is no such thing as an In-N-Out Burger that isn't crowded.

  57. There is one lonely Chick-fil-A. (Update Nov 25. Readers have informed HRGBRG that in fact, there are seven Chick-fil-As. Six gregarious ones and one lonely one.)

  58. Just like in every other city in the world, residents love to throw shoes into power lines.

  59. People are into recycling.

  60. People are into alternative energy.

  61. Smog testing is an industry .

  62. There are real tar pits, embellished with fake situations.

  63. Rodeo Drive is a one stop shop for luxury services.

  64. You'll find large luxury shopping complexes in Beverly Hills and Santa Monica.

  65. Celebrities shop here:

  66. Celebrities shop here:

  67. Celebrities shop here:

  68. The law allows grocery stores to sell all types of alcohol.

  69. Drugstores can sell alcohol, too.

  70. Farmer's markets sell the same produce year-round.

  71. Here's Central Park. (It's not New York's.)

  72. Griffith Park is LA's Central Park.

  73. Here's a Venice canal. (It's not Italy's.)

  74. Little Tokyo is among a variety of international neighborhoods like Little Armenia, Thai Town, Chinatown, and Koreatown.

  75. Many businesses deal in languages that aren't English.

  76. There are spiders along this running path.

  77. A long fence reminds you not to swim in Silver Lake reservoir.

  78. Fields left unattended may accumulate wildflowers.

  79. Cars left unattended may accumulate salt.

  80. Speed bumps are very common on residential blocks.

  81. Thru alleys are much more common than parking lots.

  82. Small apartment complexes fill some streets from end to end.

  83. Neourban planned communities can be found, too.

  84. There's a self-cleaning public pay toilet in Skid Row.

  85. Storm drains are needed in LA, just not that often.

  86. Art is never in short supply.

  87. Found on most diner walls: Black and white 8x10s of classic film stars.

  88. Because there are so many professional actors, there's a strong live theater scene.

  89. Live music of any genre is a cinch to find.

  90. Parking decks have wonderful acoustics.

  91. Someone has this license plate.


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