Monday, July 16, 2012

What's the closest you've ever come to dying?

I asked folks, “What’s the closest brush with death you’ve ever had?” Here are 21 death-defying stories.

STEVE
Age: 28. Occupation: Bartender.



What’s the closest brush with death you’ve ever had?
Steve: "Nine years ago, August 3rd, 2003, I had brain surgery. My skull collapsed, I had three plates put in my head, fell into a coma, damn near pronounced dead at the scene. That’s what happened. While serving with the US Marines.

“Yeah, they told my parents I wasn’t going to make it, and I survived anyway. ‘Cause I’m very stubborn. I was in great shape. Either way, whatever the reason was, I’m still here. But, I got discharged from the Marine Core ‘cause of it, after four years, and I’ve been bartending ever since.”




CHARLES
Age: 30. Occupation: Team leader for School on Wheels.



What’s the closest brush with death you’ve ever had?
Charles: "When I was 22, I was shot at, and I got shot in the foot.”




CHRISTINA
Age: 33. Occupation: Stylist.



What’s the closest brush with death you’ve ever had?
Christina: "There’s actually been quite a few. Huh. Well, I did tell you how I had spinal meningitis - I actually did die. So, I crossed over, and I saw my grandmother. I was happy to see her. She literally told me, ‘It’s not your time. You have to go back.’ And I was like, ‘No. Why? I want to stay here with you!’ And she said, ‘No. It’s just not your time. You have a lot to do. You have to go back.’ And I said, ‘I don’t want to go back.’ And she said, ‘You have to go back.’ And then she and the light went away, and I woke up, in tears.

“How I died: I ‘bradied’ down. Basically what that means is that my heart rate dropped so low that I was technically still alive, but at the point where I wasn’t getting enough oxygen, so that I actually did cross over. But since I still had some sort of a heart rate kind of going, they put a cold press on me, and that’s what jump-kicked me back into... that brought me back. I totally had - I raised up out of my body, looked down, I could see myself laying there, and went up, saw the light, saw my grandmother, and she said ‘Absolutely not. It’s not your time to go. You have to go back. You have too much to do.’”




Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Shitty relationship advice

I asked the Shitty Advice Guy on the Venice boardwalk for some shitty relationship advice, and he delivered.


HRGBRG: "Can I get some shitty relationship advice?"

SHITTY ADVICE GUY:
"Ya got a boyfriend?"

HRGBRG: "No."

SHITTY ADVICE GUY:
"Next time you’re looking for a guy, don’t shower for 2 or 3 days... y'know, act like a real bitch. Ask for shit you don’t even want. Never, y'know, be satisfied with McDonald’s or Burger King or Taco Bell, never, never. If it ain’t 25 to 50 dollars a plate to eat, nah, ain’t gonna happen. Check out all the guys around you, even the ugly ones. Make sure he’s payin’ attention. And just, every time he goes to kiss you, turn your head... ya know, he goes to grab your hand, pull it away. Then try to keep that guy. It’s not gonna happen.

“Again - That's Real. Shitty Advice.

HRGBRG
Thank you!

Watch the video of this interview:

Monday, July 9, 2012

The World's Greatest Wine-O on Obama's proposal to extend middle-class tax cuts

I asked the World's Greatest Wine-O, who has been sharing songs and jokes on the Venice Beach boardwalk for 18 years and knows more about current events than I do, to comment on today's proposal by President Obama for a 1-year extension of Bush-era tax cuts for the middle-class.


HRGBRG: "Can I ask you what you think of Obama's plan to extend Bush's tax cuts on people who make $250,000 or less?"

WORLD'S GREATEST WINE-O:
"That's where the money should go. Shouldn't send- give the money to people done send the jobs overseas like Mitt Romney did. Alright? Get 'em middle class people a break. I ain't middle class yet, but I'm workin' on it." (Laughs)

HRGBRG
Thank you!

A photo of the World's Greatest Wine-O:

Sunday, July 1, 2012

What did you look like when you were a kid?

I asked folks: "What did you look like when you were a kid?"

ANNA
Age: 22. Occupation: Model.



What did you look like when you were a kid?
Anna: "I was probably one of the ugliest babies alive. My eyes were crossed. I was humongous. I think I was 23 inches long and almost 10 pounds when I was born. My head was shaped like an eggplant and I was kind of purplish colored too. My lips- it looked like I got stung by a bee because they were the same size they are now, but on a smaller head, so they filled up my whole face. I had probably 6 rolls in each of my legs.

"It was really bad.

"People used to come up to my parents and be like 'Oh, can I see your baby?' and then they'd be like 'Woooowww... you have a really... interesting looking baby.'

"Yeah. I don't think my parents ever heard I was cute or anything like that."




GREG
Age: 33. Occupation: Marketing manager.



What did you look like when you were a kid?
Greg: "Don't know what happened... I used to be a little white boy. Then I turned Mexican."